Trust in the Process: A Sailor’s Open Letter to Parents

Introduction: Navigating Parenthood While Your Child Serves

Being the parent of a Sailor is both an honor and a challenge. It’s natural to feel a mix of pride, worry, and longing when your child ventures into the world to serve their country. In today’s hyper-connected world, it can be even harder to step back, watch, and trust. As a veteran and a parent myself, I want to share some insights and guidance for those navigating this unique journey.

Growing Up: A Different Time

When I think back to my own childhood, it’s clear how much the world has changed. Back then, without smartphones, social media, or even cell phones, kids had a certain freedom. Parents worried less because they didn’t have instant access to updates. If we were out of earshot (or the reach of a parent’s reprimanding hand), we were on our own.

Fast-forward to my time in the Navy. My parents and wife rarely knew what happened during deployments. Overseas adventures, challenges on the ship, and the inevitable mistakes never made it to the evening news. Letters home were infrequent and often filled with generic reassurances: “I’m doing fine, staying out of trouble, and can’t wait to be home.” Expensive phone calls were brief but cherished, filled with hurried updates that conveyed little more than “I’m okay.”

The Modern Reality: Overconnected and Overwhelmed

Today’s parents have a front-row seat to their child’s life thanks to social media and instant messaging. Updates come in the form of Instagram photos, Facebook posts, TikTok's, or even secondhand stories from other families. While this connectivity can be comforting, it can also amplify worry. A single post can lead to sleepless nights: “Why does my child look so tired? What do they mean by ‘rough day’? Is their leadership treating them fairly?”

The Role of Trust

Here’s the hard truth: You need to trust. Trust in the training that prepared your child for the challenges of service. Trust that the values you instilled in them will guide their actions. Trust that their leaders will mentor, support, and challenge them in ways that foster growth.

Growth is a cornerstone of military service. Your child is learning resilience, teamwork, and leadership. Some lessons are immediate, while others take years to fully sink in. As they navigate hardships—long hours, physical exhaustion, and the occasional mistake—they’re developing a maturity and strength that will serve them for life.

Context Matters

It’s important to remember that the snippets you see online often lack context. Yes, there will be tough days. Yes, your child might vent about frustrations. And yes, they might share only part of the story. But these moments don’t define their entire experience. The Navy, like any organization, has its flaws, but it’s also a place of immense camaraderie, purpose, and personal growth.

Advice to Parents: Lean Into Trust

To the parents of Sailors, my advice is simple yet profound: trust.

• Trust in their training: It has equipped them with the skills to handle difficult situations.

• Trust in their values: The principles you’ve taught them are their foundation.

• Trust in their leaders: Many of us see these Sailors as extensions of our own families.

• Trust in their resilience: They’re learning to thrive in adversity and embrace the challenges.

• Trust in the process: Mistakes and hardships are part of growth, and your child is navigating them with courage.

Closing Thoughts

Your worries, concerns, and even your moments of outrage are valid. They stem from a place of love and care. But remember, your child is not alone. They are surrounded by peers, mentors, and leaders who understand the weight of their responsibility. They’re learning, growing, and becoming heroes in their own right.

So, take a deep breath. Trust in the journey. And when your child calls or writes, let them know how proud you are. They’re not just serving their country—they’re making you proud every step of the way.

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William Karstens
Retired Chief Petty Officer
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/williamkarstens